This is not just about your child.
I am amazed, time and time again, how the fundamentals of the Son-Rise Program are powerful tools I use in all aspects of my life. The tools that I have learned, and now teach as a Son-Rise teacher, impact the way I parent my 3 children, the way I do my relationship with my husband, the way I address my health. This past weekend, I was blown away, yet again, at how the tenants of the Son-Rise Program, specifically the idea of meeting a child where he is and letting him be the leader- came into play.
Some of you may have been following the story of my dear friend Leah, mother of 5, who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer just 9 months ago. She has been putting up a strong and courageous fight. We are all still hoping for the best and know that miracles can and do occur.
However, in the past month she has gotten thinner and weaker. The doctors confirm that because of this she is inoperable and they have told her she should go home to receive hospice care to help her be as comfortable as possible. She was told that her days are numbered.
Desperate to see my dear friend, I spent the weekend with her, her husband and children. There were times when she was in a medicated stupor, barely able to whisper and struggling to feel comfortable enough to sleep. There were times when she broke down and cried- expressing that she did not want to die- that she wanted to live and see her children grow up. There were times when she was making jokes, like when she threw up for the third time into a bucket I was holding for her and then looked at me and said with a smile, "Welcome to Paradise".
She experienced all extremes; love, gratitude, fear and despair.
You might ask: What did you do? What did you say? How do you respond to such an intense experience? So... what did I do?
I filled myself with an intense love and respect for Leah and her process. I cultivated a feeling of trust in her ability to move through this exactly as she needs to, without needing any nudging or guidance ,and trust in god- that he is with her, always. And then, from that place of letting her be the leader, I held her hand, caressed her face and I listened (and yes, I did alot of crying myself).
It felt so good to be with with her in that way- to let her lead, just as we let our children with autism lead as they enter their own world of repetitious and exclusive behaviors as a way to take care of themselves. We don't nudge, guide or redirect. Out of a place of deep respect, we meet them where they are and join them in their exclusive behavior. We show them how willing we are to be with them- no matter what and no matter where.
The playroom is a training ground for deep inner work with your child but the tools of the Son-Rise Program are gifts for life- every aspect of your life. These are gifts that I am grateful for each and every day.
How have you applied the Son-Rise Program to other areas of your life? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below and inspire others in how they can grow.